I may start to be in trouble.

I have been avoiding to write something not because of all the drama going on here at Xanga. Its more like I don't want to face what is going on here at home. I keep telling myself that everything is going good and it will get better but the matter-of-fact is, nothing is going good. I have been out of work now going on three weeks. My unemployment checks are not here yet because they are saying that I have two more requirement to full-fill which I have already done. I have $10 in my account, I have been sick off and on since Christmas. My grandson has also been real sick as well. You know how 1 year olds are..very clingy. He wants either his Mom or me carrying him all the time. Its been real ugly outside so we have not gone anywhere except to the doctor. My wife has been carrying the load from all of us by her working but she just got a work email saying that they may be cutting back at her job as well by the end of the month. MY little niece has been visiting me more this time and that was the only small ray of hope that I have had so far. Every time she has to go back she cry's that she does not want to go back home and she wants to stay with us. Its not that she has a bad home life, that is not it she just wants to stay with us. So with all of this I can slowly feel depression starting to creep up on me again. This has happen about five years ago when I get go into major depression. I lost my great job and afterwards my money started dwindling down to zero, we started losing things. I lost my wifes explorer, my truck and almost lost our house things were getting cut of like phones, electricity and water. It was getting bad real bad. There was more to it as well but Its too long to write it. I just feel that it is starting to happen all over again. Its nice outside today, sun is out and my daughter is at school, my grandson is with his dad till my daughter is done for the day. I have to make myself get dressed go outside and do the things that need to be done since November. Then I will finish my day looking for more jobs (which is a different post all together).